February 2, 2015

Over this extensive period of time here in utah, I’ve noticed that I’m developing a tough outer layer of skin that protects me from the harsh winters of this frozen tundra, similar to that of a liger. it’s a mix between a male lion and a female tiger. bred for skills and magic. it weighs like a buttload, but it has great jumping and leaping abilities.

we keep racking up the investigators here in Bucknastytown, USA. slowly but surely!!! we’re teaching this lady named Nancy P from memphis tennessee and she’s PROBABLY the closest thing to Madea as it gets without being tyler perry with a wig. haha she’s sooo sick!! we’re pretty close to gettin her dipped which is pretty dope no lie. there’s a lot of less active work up here cause like everyone and their cow is a member!!! the wards/branches are real noice baby. real noice. haha everyone freaked out the first couple weeks because the little elder from AZ had no winter clothes and was packed for Brazil so ERRYBODY wanted to donate to the cause of me keeping all my limbs in tact. they’re like a giant 2500 person family to me!! speaking of giant families… 😉

Hatch Rock is in our area, probably halfway between monticello and la sal and it is home to a small colony of polygamist families hahaha ITS SO DOPE!!! they literally live in the rock, like they blow that mess up with some good ol TNT and then BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE KICK IN SOME BOULDERS AND SEND EM ROLLIN DOWN THE MOUNTAIN AND YOU GOT YOURSELF A NICE LIL HOUSE O POLYGAMY. haha it’s shweet! the people there are too nice. we actually have a few investigators out there, namely Nephi Barlow.

YEAH.

I KNOW.

LIKE… BRUH.

I’M TEACHING NEPHI.

out in Paradox we got a new family of investigators, they just moved there from kentucky I think so the drawl is sooo real haha I love it! but our first visit with them Eric (the dad) just started spouting off how he wants to turn his life around and has been investigating the church for a little while and he wants to raise his family in it and live better lives.. such a stud! he’s sooo ready! I love that guy. the investigators and members are awesome! we’re speaking in church next sunday in 1st ward and again in march in the paradox branch, they LOVE to hear from us haha! but I think I kinda drew the short straw here; I’ve been in the mission for more fast sundays than I have months.. like what the heck?! it’s chill tho, it’s probably the Lord telling me real nicely that I need to lose some weight or something haha 🙂

last bit of news! found out this week that the missionaries have gone and lifted in the mornings at the high school. so guess what I did this morning 🙂 only the greatest day of all time. leg day. oh yeah. FUN FACT: WHILST CROSSING THE FROZEN DELAWARE RIVER ON AN ADVENTURE TO NOWHERE, PRESIDENT TEDDY ROOSEVELT HIMSELF BEAR SQUATTED THE WIDTH OF THE RIVER WITH A MOOSE UPON HIS BACK. AND THUS, THE NATIONAL HOLIDAY OF LEG DAY WAS BOOM SCHMACKED INTO THE WORLD FOR ALL YOU BOYS AND GIRLS TO ENJOY A GOOD OL TIME BEARING YOUR THIGHS. BOOMDEEZY. like who knew he contributed that much to society? Maybe Aristotle and talking owls knew, but definitely not regular humans and dumb owls. alright but for real! I know without a shadow of a doubt that this church is true and we are children of our Heavenly Father. and He loves us just for that.

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